


Sirius Situation

by OracleObscured



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Exhibitionism, Gen, Masturbation, Oneshot, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 17:24:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5834200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OracleObscured/pseuds/OracleObscured
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione and Ginny get a crash-course on male pleasure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sirius Situation

**Author's Note:**

> This story is just an amusing plot bunny that popped into my head one afternoon. It is mostly Sirius/his hand (while Ginny and Hermione watch). Ginny is with Harry, and Hermione is with Ron; but no actual scene directly involves them. It's all implied. Also, in case you're picky, reality has been suspended and Sirius is not dead. I hope you enjoy.

 

The heat was crushing. Even the night air was sticky. Grimmauld Place was so stuffy they could barely breathe without the aid of cooling charms. Ginny lay on her side in bed, trying not to let too much of her skin touch the sheets. The trio had returned for their missed 7th year, so, luckily, she was sharing a room with Hermione (cooling charm caster extraordinaire). The curtains kicked about in the playful breeze.  
  
The humid conditions made her fingers stick to the pages as she idly flipped through her Quidditch magazine. Not counting the heat, the summer holiday was going smashingly. If only people would stop bursting in on her and Harry whenever things got good. She was never going to get him naked at this rate. _Wonder how Hermione does it?_ The studious witch was much sneakier than people gave her credit for. _Where is she anyway? She’s usually in bed by now._  
  
As if responding to a summons, Hermione burst into the room and fell back against the door as though she’d just narrowly escaped a nip from Fluffy’s third head. “Oh my God!” she moaned, slapping her hands over her face.

Ginny was immediately sitting and on alert. “What’s wrong?”

Hermione’s fingers slid down so her shock-rounded eyes peeked over the top. “You will never believe what I just saw.”

“If it was my brother naked, you don’t look horrified enough.”

Hermione didn’t even crack a smile. “It wasn’t Ron.”

“You saw someone naked?”

“Not just naked.”

The smile fell from Ginny’s face, her jaw dropping. “What? Tell me!”

The slow shake of Hermione’s head denied reality even as she confessed. “I just walked in on Sirius wanking in the bathroom.”

“No way! How much did you see?”

A pained look wrinkled Hermione’s brow. “Everything.”

Ginny had to clamp her hand over her mouth to hold in the guffaw. At least one of them had finally gotten some action this summer. She wished it had been her. The Sirius in her imagination was always starkers, and she kept hoping to catch him in the altogether in real life. However, this was the next best option. At least she could hear about it. There was no doubt Hermione had looked. They both agreed Sirius was high on the list of “fantasy fodder” (after Harry and Ron respectively, of course). “What happened? I need details.”

“It was an accident,” Hermione explained. “I thought the bathroom door had just blown shut again. I didn’t want anyone banging into it in the middle of the night.”

Ron had almost broken his nose two nights prior, stumbling to the loo at three in the morning. The memory made Ginny giggle.

“I knew everyone else was already in bed, so I just opened the door. It never crossed my mind that Sirius had come down from the attic.”

“And?”

“And . . . oh God . . . he was leaning against the wall with his eyes shut . . . stroking himself.”

“Naked?” She needed to hear that part again.

“Extremely.”

Ginny couldn’t get the grin off her face. “Well, don’t keep it to yourself. What’d he look like?”

Lips quivering for a few seconds, Hermione broke into a reluctant smile. “Amazing.”

Ginny’s felt as if her ribs were going to explode with stifled laughter. “Yeah, I gathered that much. I meant what's his wand like?”

Hermione blushed, but the grin stayed put as she nodded. “Impressive.”

“I knew it! So then what happened? He spotted you?”

“Not right away. It took a while for him to notice me.”

“So you just stood there watching him?” Ginny was proud of her.

“I was in shock.”

“Get any good pointers?”

“I got a whole bloody tutorial,” Hermione muttered.

Ginny covered her face to staunch the snort. “What did he say?”

“Nothing. He must have sensed me standing there, because he suddenly just stopped and looked toward the door. As soon as he saw me, I muttered 'sorry' and ran back here.”

Tears stood in Ginny’s eyes. “You should have asked him if he needed a hand.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. He’d have a heart attack.”

“Do you think he’s still in there?”

Hermione shrugged. “There was water in the tub. It looked as though he was getting ready to take a bath . . . or he’d already taken one.”

Ginny bolted for the door.

Snagging her arm, Hermione stopped her. “Where are you going?”

“To see if he’s still in there.”

“Ginny, you can’t!”

“Come on, Hermione. I just want a peek." Opening the door carefully, she peered out into the hall. The bathroom door was closed. Either he was still in there, or it had blown shut again. “All clear,” she whispered.

“What if someone sees,” Hermione hissed behind her.

“Keep watch for me, will you?”

There was a muttered reproach, but Hermione went to the stairs to make sure no one was coming up. They only needed to defend against approaches from the lower levels. Ginny tiptoed to the door and crouched down, putting her eye to the keyhole. It took her few seconds, but she finally saw movement to the left. Glancing back, she gave her cohort a thumbs-up. Hermione looked as if she were about to have kittens.  
  
Turning back to the keyhole, Ginny tried to figure out what she was seeing. He was too far to the left, not quite in the keyhole sight-lines. Tipping her head to the right, she tried to improve her chances of seeing something worthwhile. Her forehead knocked against the doorknob, and it rattled loud as a cannon in the silent hallway.

Grasping the doorframe to steady herself, she gave Hermione a worried look over her shoulder. Hermione’s responding expression suggested that Voldemort had just called round for tea. Ginny clamped her hand over her mouth to muffle her giggle. When she turned back to the door, she found herself face-to-crotch with a towel-covered Sirius Black.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked in a dark timbre.

 _Bollocks!_ “Um . . .” _Think of something Ginny._ “Looking for Crookshanks?”

His brow arched. “And did you spot him through the keyhole?”

 _Double bollocks!_ “No, we’re still looking.”

He rolled his eyes. “Ginny, get up. I know when I’m being spied on. I can’t believe you were a party to this, Hermione.”

“It was my idea,” Ginny interjected. She wouldn’t let Hermione take the blame for her predilections. “Hermione warned me against it.”

Sirius sighed. “I take it she shared our little run-in with you.”

Girl talk was sacred. Ginny wouldn’t rat on her friend.

The guilt broke Hermione in two seconds. “I’m sorry, Sirius. I didn’t know you were in there. Honestly. It was an accident.”

He smiled softly. “I know, Hermione. You didn’t stick around for me to apologize earlier. It was my fault. I didn’t lock the door.” Turning back to Ginny, he pointed an accusing finger at her. “You, on the other hand, you were peeking on purpose. What will your mother say?”

Okay, she was getting a little nervous now. “Um . . . that I’ve got good taste?”

Sirius stared blankly at her for a few seconds and then burst into silent chuckles, his shoulders shaking as he tilted back his head. Ginny breathed a sigh of relief. She’d been worried that he was really angry with her there for a minute.

Sirius couldn’t keep up the “responsible adult” routine any longer. While he was mildly disturbed that a seventeen-year-old witch was spying on him in the bath, he was also pleased. He’d been stuck in the house for what seemed like an eternity; this was the most excitement he’d had in years. He wasn’t the man he used to be, but if Ginny was trying to take a gander at his bits, maybe he wasn’t as decrepit as he felt.

“Okay, you got me. Flattery will get you everywhere,” he smirked. “Now, have you seen enough, or can I finish getting ready for bed?”

Ginny hadn’t seen anything yet, and she wasn’t ready to give in. She threw Hermione a determined look.  
  
Sirius caught the edge of that look. “I saw that Ginny. What do you want?”

The sorting hat hadn’t placed her in Gryffindor for nothing. “I was thinking dinner and a show,” she said, looking him up and down. “I’ve already had dinner.”

She heard Hermione snort from the staircase.  
  
Sirius snickered at his feet, not wanting her to see his approval. The marauder in him was impressed by her daring. “That is grossly inappropriate, Ginevra Weasley.” His admonishment was diminished by the laughter in his voice. “What about Harry? He’d keel over if he heard you talking like that.”

“I’m asking for his benefit.”

Both his brows popped higher. “How do you figure that?”

“I’m a visual learner.”

Sirius rubbed at his face to hide his grin. Loneliness was a devious mistress. This was getting out of hand; he was actually considering showing her something. The girl wasn’t really serious, was she? This was just a game. A bit of adolescent banter. “So you want to watch? Is that it?”

“Yes, please.”

“Oh my God,” he muttered at the ceiling.

“Please, Sirius. You know how Harry is. He’s too shy to say what he likes. But if you were to show me . . .”

“Are you taking the Mickey?” he asked, half hoping she was.

Her head shook no. “Help a witch out, Sirius.”

“Go to your room,” he sighed. “I’ll be there in a minute. We’ll talk about this.”

“On your word as a Gryffindor?”

“Yes, yes. Let’s move this out of the hall before someone overhears.”

“Just come with us.”

“Oh, I can see it now: me coming out of your room, wearing nothing but a towel. Your mother would have my bollocks mounted on the mantle.”

“You won’t need the towel,” Ginny assured him.

“Bloody hell. Go! I’ll be there in a minute.”

Ginny ushered a wide-eyed Hermione back into their room. The older girl was giving her a mixed look of disbelief and admiration.  
  
“Ginny, what are you doing?” Hermione hissed when they were back in their room with the door shut.

“I’m getting one of the sexiest wizards in existence to show us everything we’ve ever wanted to know about the male body.”

Hermione’s mouth dropped open.

“Don’t you want to know?” Ginny pressed.

“Yes, of course. But . . .”

“Well, so do I. When are we ever going to have an opportunity like this again?”

No rebuttal presented itself to Hermione’s racing mind.

Ginny nodded. “It’s perfect. He’ll do a bit of show and tell, and the next time I get Harry alone, I’ll make him cream his shorts.”

“Ginny!”

“What? Like you don’t want that knowledge as much as I do.”

“Well . . . How are we ever going to look him in the eye again?”

“With a giant smile,” Ginny assured her. “That is, if I can tear my eyes away from his trousers.”

A soft knock at the door interrupted their whispered conversation. Ginny pulled it open to find a fully-clothed Sirius Black waiting on the other side. She preferred the towel. “Well come in."

“Ginny,” he said, letting her lead him through the door, “I don’t think I can do what you’re asking.”

“Of course you can,” she said, guiding him to the chair. With a small shove, she got him to sit. “Hermione’s already seen it. You’re halfway there.”

Turning to Hermione, she gave the other girl a pleading look. _Help me out here, will you?_

Hermione sat on the bed across from him. “We really appreciate this, Sirius. Ginny’s right, you’re the only one who’s honest and brave enough to do this for us.”

“Honest and brave?” he repeated with a snort. “Laying it on a bit thick, aren’t you?”

“It’s true,” Ginny affirmed, sitting next to Hermione. “You will help us, won’t you?”

“Help you?”

“Yes. You know, show us what to do, answer our questions.”

Sirius studied her. “Ginny, I’ll gladly answer any questions you have. Questions won’t get me murdered by one of your brothers.”

“Excellent!” she interjected. “First question. When are you going to take off your trousers?”

“Merlin,” he muttered with a grin. “I haven’t done anything like this in nearly eighteen years.”

Hermione and Ginny looked at each other. They both knew he’d been a bit of a lad in his glory days. What was it like for him to go from bedding any witch he wanted to eighteen years of celibacy? Hermione bit her lip then decided to say something.

“You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” She realized her words might be taken the wrong way. “What I mean to say is . . . you’re obviously . . .”

“Sexy as hell,” Ginny finished.

Sirius barked out a laugh. “Well, thanks for that.” He rubbed at his temples. “All right. I’ll do it. But keep in mind, if I wasn’t so lonely, I wouldn’t be here.”

Ginny nodded. “We owe you.”

“ _Massively_ owe me,” he corrected.

“Let’s see the goods before we discuss price,” Ginny countered.

It seemed unlikely she’d balk at any price he named, but he enjoyed the repartee none the less. It felt like a dare now. He opened his trousers and pulled himself free, trying to keep a straight face in the midst of their ogling. At this rate, their eyes were going to pop out of their heads before he was even completely hard. The girls’ appreciation made him braver, and he shoved his trousers and shorts down around his hips. If they wanted a demonstration, he’d give them the works. “Someone better ward the door.”

Hermione performed several intricate spells, and he relaxed a little. His fingers ventured lower, teasing at his prick. It was rapidly filling, and he knew that reaction was predominantly caused by performing for an audience. _Remus was right, I am a bloody exhibitionist._

Hermione’s hand started to rise.

Ginny burst into giggles and pushed it back down. “You don’t have to raise your hand, Hermione. Just ask him.”

“Sorry. Force of habit.”

Sirius fell in with their laughing. “What is it, Hermione?”

“Did you . . . finish earlier.”

“No, I didn’t. No offense to you or anything. I just . . .”

“You scared him into retreat,” Ginny supplied.

He smirked. “I wasn’t scared, just startled.”

Hermione nodded. “How often do you . . . do this?”

“I sincerely hope you mean wank and not corrupt innocent schoolgirls.”

“Who are you calling innocent?” Ginny demanded.  
  
Hermione just smiled. “We’re both of age.”

“Barely,” he snorted.

Ginny wasn’t letting him off the hook. “How often?”

“It varies. Sometimes every day, sometimes not so often.”

“Will you explain what you’re doing while you . . . do it?” Hermione asked.

The way she kept avoiding certain words just made him laugh harder. “I suppose. I’ve never commentated my own technique before.”

He looked down at his hand. “Teasing works best for getting things going. You can probably skip this step with Harry and Ron. Teenage boys are in a perpetual state of readiness.”

Both girls nodded in avid agreement, but their eyes never left his exposed cock. Sirius was starting to wonder if they were ever going to blink again. He’d forgotten what it was like to be desired. His brain was going into overdrive (not to mention his record-breaking progression below the belt). The intensity in their attention was a potent aphrodisiac. This scene would end quickly if he wasn’t careful.

He wrapped his hand around his shaft and pumped himself twice then pressed his erection against his belly, displaying the underside. Pulling his skin tight, he traced the ridge there. When he got to the head, he stopped, rubbing his pinky over the frenulum. “See this bit right here, where the shaft meets the head?”

They both nodded, neither able to vocalize.

“If you want a bloke to come quickly, stay there.” He demonstrated with some short fast strokes. “But, if you want to blow his mind,” his hand strayed down to his sac, “you’ve got to tease him. Get him close then back off. Make it last.”

“For how long?” Hermione asked.

He smirked. Harry and Ron would either thank him or hex him for his answer. “Until he begs.”

“How do you know when to back off?”

That was harder to explain. “I suggest you ask. At least until you get better at reading his body language. Watch how tense his muscles get, and watch for his balls to start to pull up. That’s a bit risky though. Once a man gets to a certain point, he can’t really stop.”

His stroking had unconsciously sped up, and he felt a rush of pleasure threaten to undo him. Wrapping his fingers around the head, he squeezed tight.

“What was that?” Ginny asked.

“Squeeze the head. Calms things down. You’ve got to give him a break in-between or he's done for. In the meantime just play with his balls or something.”

“How?” they both asked at the same time.

Sirius grinned. “Gently.”

“Show us,” Ginny said, gesturing toward his sac.

His hand slid down between his thighs and cupped his balls. “Just sort of roll them around. Play with his scrotum. Be nice.”

Ginny had never thought about playing with Harry’s balls before. It sounded hilarious, but after watching Sirius she wanted to sneak downstairs and test them out.

Sirius went back to his cock, circling the base with his thumb and forefinger. They watched, engrossed, as his cock turned bright red.  
  
“That looks painful,” Ginny muttered.

“It . . . intensifies things.” His other hand started a slow journey up and down his length. “It’s better with lube.”  
  
Putting his hand to his lips, he spit on his palm and went back to pumping. He almost burst out laughing at their disgusted expressions. “What? You’ve never used saliva as lubricant before?”

“Not on my own body,” Ginny answered, pulling a face. “How ‘bout you, Hermione. Ever spit in your own hand and then rub yourself with it?”

Silent giggles shook Hermione’s shoulders. “No.”

“Good. I thought maybe I was missing out on something.”

Sirius smiled. “You’re young. You’ll learn.”

Ginny shook her head. “As long as I’m self-lubricating, I’ll skip the spit-bath.”

Grinning, he caught her eye. “Not all your options are self-lubricating.”

It took them a second, but then Hermione’s jaw fell, and Ginny burst out laughing. “See?," she said, wiping her eyes. "That’s why we go to you with these kinds of things. Honesty.”

He squeezed his glans again. Harry was going to have his hands full with that one.  
  
“What about . . . not using your hands?” Hermione asked.

“You mean oral sex?”

“Yes.”

“What about it?”

“How do you do it?”

His hand went back to his bollocks while he considered how to answer her. He didn’t want to overwhelm them with instruction (and he wasn’t sure he could explain it anyway). “Same basic premise. You just use your lips and tongue instead. Be careful with the teeth,” he added before resuming his previous tempo.

“That’s it?” Ginny asked. “You just suck him instead of stroke him?”

“Well . . . I recommend both at the same time, but yes, basically. Not all men fancy a lot of actual suction. Ask him what he prefers.”

“What about deep-throating?” Hermione asked.

 _Blimey, what are the Gryffindor girls up to nowadays?_ “It’s fun, but not mandatory.”

“But men fancy it?”

“Not as much as they fancy a witch who loves giving head. It’s your throat, do whatever makes you happy.”

“What about swallowing?” Hermione asked. “Lavender says guys always want you to swallow.”

He couldn’t stop his lips from twitching into a smile. “It’s really up to you.”

Ginny was suspicious. “What do you like?”

“Psychologically, it’s a turn on when a witch is willing to swallow a part of you. And, physically, it feels good. But,” he added, “one of the best blowjobs I ever had was from a witch who didn’t swallow. It didn’t matter. It was bloody amazing.”

Hermione needed more information. “What did she do that made it so good?”

Merlin! He had to stop touching himself again. “Well . . . she just seemed to really enjoy herself. And she had a tongue with a mind of its own.” He shivered. “She used to talk dirty to me too. It made me mental.”

“What’d she say?” If Ginny could get Harry to talk more it would be a miracle. He was too quiet. Just the sound of him breathing in her ear made her wet. How perfect would it be if he actually said something? Maybe if she got the ball rolling, it would loosen his tongue.

“She’d tell me what she wanted to do to me . . . or what she wanted me to do to her. Honestly, a lot of it wasn’t even that dirty. It just drove me mad to know she was thinking about sex all the time.”

Hermione’s eyes narrowed, studying him for a few seconds. “You’re getting close, aren’t you?”

Sirius was impressed with her powers of perception. “Yes. I’m not sure I’m going to hold off this time. How did you guess?”

“Your ba—,” she cut herself off, “ . . . getting tight.”

Ginny grinned at her. “I’ve heard you say it before. You can do it.”

Hermione sighed and looked at the ceiling. “Bollocks,” she muttered.

“Was that an answer or are you just perturbed?”

“Fine,” Hermione huffed, looking Ginny in the eye. “His balls are tight, alright? Are you happy now? They’re practically in his armpits.”

Ginny threw back her head and laughed. “Yes, I’m very happy. How ‘bout you, Sirius?”

He couldn’t remember another situation where he’d smiled quite so much while masturbating. “I’m about to be extremely happy.” _All over myself._

“Don’t try to be quiet,” Ginny said. “I want to hear you.”

“Bloody hell,” he muttered. His hand got tighter, and he felt himself go over. His cock twitched hard as sparkly white light blunted his vision. “Fuck!”

Ginny and Hermione watched, spellbound, as he lifted his shirt and came all over his stomach. It was the most graphic thing either of them had ever witnessed. Hearing him grunt and curse made Ginny want to shove her hand down her knickers. Hermione eloquently put words to her sentiments. “Oh my God.”

They watched as his hand slowed to a stop, a glob of pearly fluid spattering his thumb. His eyes fell closed as he caught his breath. No one said anything, and in the aftermath, Sirius was starting to feel like a dirty, old pervert.

“That was brilliant,” Ginny declared.

Sirius smirked, the feeling of self-disgust diminishing with her praise. With a flick of his wand, he cleaned himself then pulled up his trousers. He still felt a tad guilty. “I need a drink,” he sighed.

Ginny smiled. “After that, I need a cigarette.”

“I need another shower.” Hermione said to herself.

Ginny and Sirius both looked at her and burst out laughing.

“You two should go to bed,” Sirius said, rising from the chair. His back cracked as he stretched.

“Bollocks to that,” Ginny said dismissively. “I’m going to go find out if Harry’s still awake.”

“Be careful. Molly was still puttering around downstairs last I saw.”

“She’s not invited.”

Sirius cracked the door and checked the hallway before venturing out. He glanced back over his shoulder. “Don’t forget, you owe me.” He smirked and left.

“Are you really going to sneak down and see Harry?” Hermione asked when they were alone.

“I’m going to try.”

“I want to go too.”

“I don’t think he’s quite ready for that. He can barely handle me by myself.”

“I meant to see Ron,” Hermione laughed.

“That sounds safer. What are you going to try first?”

“I don’t know. I kind of want to see him touch himself. That was insanely sexy.”

Ginny nodded. “I know. I want to find out what Harry’s scrotum feels like.”

Hermione doubled over, holding her sides and snorting. “Stop! I don’t want to know.”

“Let’s see who can last longer. I bet Ron comes before Harry.”

“You’re on.”


End file.
